So I met an Emu, well two actually . . .
Coming face to face with an Emu to prove I’m no longer terrified of birds
You might be thinking ok, bit odd but so what?
Or you could be thinking, like my non-bird phobic friend, ‘that’s exciting I’d love to come with you’. For me it was part of the process in seeing how far I’d been able to overcome an almost lifelong phobia of birds.
The impact of the phobia did make day to day life difficult, on my own I’d cross the road to avoid birds, run through Waterloo Station looking like I was late for a train, but actually trying to avoid any that *might* swoop down, sat outdoors at a café – I would always been on edge looking out for any size of bird that could come near, I adore visiting places like Brighton and Padstow but anywhere with a high probability of coming close to birds always left me on the edge of a panic attack, needing someone with me for ‘protection’.
Birds on yards, well that’s always been challenging. Chickens terrified me, no matter how ‘friendly’ I was told they were, my current yard owner has Guinea Fowl, I’ve been known to wait till someone else arrived to move them away from in front of the stables to bring my pony in. You get the picture, I was scared, and scared of being scared, which is not ideal in a world where birds fly freely.
There is a saying that when “doing therapy training you are your first client”. With initial mixed emotions I acknowledged that I’d learnt a wide range of tools and techniques and an in depth understanding of the physiology of anxiety, its manifestation in the body, and the controls I could deploy.
I decided to see this as an opportunity to put this in to action and use it as an experiment – what was the worst that could happen?
Please don’t think I got up one day and just decided to go face this fear, or that if I work with you on anxiety you’ll be thrown straight into your worst nightmare. This was a process.
I started with the narrative I told myself, the language I used and the way I framed the challenges in my mind. Like training horses, I used systematic desensitisation techniques. Over the summer I had Swallows nesting in my stable, this year I made my peace with them and went about stable life normally. Self-hypnosis techniques, imagination exercises, and focusing on the long-term impact of removing the fear all came into play. I took steps, made progress to the point I was trying to get close to the Guinea Fowl, unfortunately they didn’t want to get involved in the experiment and kept running away.
Plan B – I knew of someone who had Emus, so I asked for an introduction to them and asked if I could go meet the birds.
This part of the experiment involved my gym heart rate monitor. It shows different coloured zones from grey to red which correlate to heart rate. Armed with the knowledge of the ‘Anxiety Curve’ and a prediction of how I would react we set off. My initial hypothesis was that I would have a fear reaction, we would see my heart rate rise, and I would use self-hypnosis techniques to allow the anxiety response to occur rather than avoid it and that I would be able to reduce its effects.
Reality didn’t align to that hypothesis.
My fear didn’t show up.
I met Ian and Enid (the Emus) behind a gate, then fed them from behind the gate, then in the field to stroke and feed them. No nausea, no shaking. We kept monitoring my heart rate – grey zone – no response. I was genuinely curious to meet them and able to hold a normal conversation throughout. My heart rate did increase slightly to the blue zone when they began pecking at the zippers on my body warmer. That was as high as it went, the same as a leisurely Sunday stroll.
My preparation had been enough to make what a few months ago would have been impossible, possible, and a pleasant experience in doing something different on a Sunday afternoon.
I am so grateful that I had this opportunity, I did think about using the strapline ‘If I can meet an Emu you can do anything’ on the website but it needs a bit of context and explaining!