Overcoming the riding anxiety challenge – why do we do it?

Why am I so passionate about what I do?

Because I have lived the experience and know it works.

There have been times when I’ve avoided going to the yard because of the pressure to ride when I wasn’t mentally able to cope with it, periods of not being able to pick up the saddle without wanting to throw up, of riding but only getting on if there was someone there to lead me. 

To non equestrians (and actually some equestrians) it’s hard to understand why you put yourself through it.  With everything that goes hand in hand with being around horses, the time, the wind, the rain, the mud, the flies, the expense, you can see why people would question your sanity and why you keep going when it causes so much anguish and mental drain when it’s not going right.

To constantly be doubting your ability, to feel like you’re not making progress, to take one step forward and six steps back is tiring and disheartening.  Horse life isn’t always a linear journey but having ridden for 30+ years I did have the expectation that I would be doing more than being on a lead rein.

I’ve found people in the horse community to be both some of the most supportive and encouraging people and also the most judgemental and eager to share their opinions on what I’m doing, or not doing, and how I’m doing it.

I’ve been told to sell my horse if I’m not going to ride it (yep, my beloved horse has been referred to as ‘it’), it’s a waste, I’ll ruin her, I should be doing more, and my personal favourite of ‘just do it’, as if I haven’t thought of that before.  There was no empathy for the fact that I’ve probably told myself that a thousand times, that I wished it was that simple, I really didn’t want to feel like that, why would I let myself feel so useless and carry the shame of not being good enough if I could ‘just do it’.

Everyone will have there own ‘why’ for keeping going. You might have lost the love, at the present moment in time for riding (or insert whatever it is you’ve been struggling with), but not the love for horses and not the understanding that things can change, the hope and possibility.  At times I’ve been grateful just to have them in my life, the smell of sweet haylage, the sound of their call, the connection.

That’s why we persist.  Horse riders are some of the most resilient and dedicated people I know. The early morning alarms, the empty bank accounts, the tired and aching muscles, are all worth it for the love of horses.

I want to share that hope with you, whatever your goal and make it a reality.  To get back into the saddle, to enjoy competing again, to hack without anxiety, to harness your mind to achieve positive results.  If I can do it, I have every faith you can too.